Being at Peace

There is a verse in Romans 12 that I have tried to live out as best I can as a Christian and a Pastor. It is Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Doing all I can do to live at peace with everyone around me as best as I can. This can be difficult my friends, but it is a calling that I have tried to fulfill. One place in my life that I have had to rest in this verse is when it comes to my relationship with my mom and step-dad, Phil. It has been "Rocky" at best ever since I got out of high school. As a matter of fact neither of my two brothers or my two step sisters have much of a relationship with them, if any at all. They had always looked to me to keep them informed about was going on in Missouri. Over the years I have spent considerable energy trying to not simply, "keep the peace", but to build a relationship with Mom & Phil. Some headway was made once in a while and then in a matter of moments it would vanish amidst harsh words thrown my way and then I would hear the familiar sound of a phone hung-up in anger. I bring this up to you all today for this weekend I was informed that my Mom has Alzheimer's. And has had for a while. My step-father has made it clear that I and my siblings are unwelcome to go and see our Mom. And I now must live in the pain of knowing that I will not ever have another conversation with my Mom.
      So I try and find a little solice in Romans, knowing that over the years I have invested my heart into trying to live at peace, yet today that seems a bit hollow to me as I now have no more opportunities to try again. I write this today out of my own need to do so, to begin anew the healing. But also for those of you who have strained relationships within your families and you are striving to work for peace. Keep at it, for you never know when you might have your last conversation with that loved one. Or like myself, what did I even say in that last conversation.
       Time now for me to move and to trust in God's healing and forgiveness. Pastor Rick Koch